Winterize this!

In which your humble narrator tries to act like a local-born Minnesota person and muses freely on the topic of the weather. 

Now that I'm slowly emerging from the fog of Pie Day, Thanksgiving and Pie for Breakfast Day I can begin to fret about all the stuff that needs to be done to get ready for winter. Usually, this being Minnesota, Land of Frozen Tundra and passive-aggressive Scandinavians, we're all set for winter by Thanksgiving because November is a winter month (and so is April most of the time). Fortunately it's a well established fact that cold weather is highly correlated with moral fiber and excellent character. This is why the upper Midwest is awesome and Florida is a hell hole of moral weakness and general turpitude.

But this year, despite the weird rash of accumulating snow in October, it's been unseasonably warm, leading to all sorts of licentiousness, gluttony and sloth the likes of which we rarely see in the frigid north. So I haven't got the insulation I bought stuffed into the appropriate crevices in the attic, nor have I put cling film on the upstairs windows. We were all excited when we bought our house because it had replacement windows. Then we moved in. And now we know that we have the absolute worst replacement windows in the history of windowdom. They are shite. Especially because the cheap bastards that put them in cut costs by only putting single-pane windows in upstairs... which has only one heat vent... strategically located in the bathroom... in the shower. I like a cold bedroom, so it's not too big of a deal most of the time. However, I hate having to wipe the windows off every day after we shower (no exhaust vent either). So I've got to do the window film thing upstairs which means that I have to find the hair dryer that a friend of ours left at our old condo two years ago.

Also I still haven't raked the leaves in the back yard. They came off of the neighbor's tree so I'm afraid it might be socialistic if I raked them for him. Glenn Beck's website doesn't seem to offer any guidance on the issue.

So I've got a ton of crap to do all of which I'll start as soon as I get my butt off the couch. I predict that will occur sometime tomorrow.