Five Things I Hate Today - Cat Barf Edition

In which your humble narrator expounds upon five hated things.

1. Waking up at 5:00 because a cat is projectile vomiting on your bed. And it wasn't even my cat, it was my wife's mentally challenged, Siamese jerk-cat. Then he ran away while barfing, leaving a vomitous trail across the bedroom (the only carpeted room in the house) and down the wall along the stair case. Just try going back to sleep when your bedroom smells like mostly digested pet-grade tuna.
2. Cleaning the coffee-maker
3. The fact that it's not socially acceptable to laugh at middle aged, spandex clad people on those damn roller-skis
4. People that refuse to use capital letters in emails
5. Ear wax