3 year old weird

In which your humble narrator relates a bizarre dialogue with Child #1.

Child #1: (after drinking) This orange juice makes my body smooth.

Me: What?

Child #1: This orange juice makes my body smooth.

 Me: Why?

Child #1: It just does, okay?

Tick, tick, tick...

In which your humble narrator perpends upon the coming autumn with fear and trembling.

Summer seems to abruptly deserted those of us nestled into the curves of the upper Mississippi. Unfortunately a richly deserved, bright and sunny autumn seems to be nowhere in sight. After the constant rains of the early season I feel more than a bit annoyed by the constant cloud cover of this September.

In remembrance of my ability to manufacture vitamin D only a few short weeks ago, here are some photos of my offspring from an early August outing.

Child #1 runs down a hill at Gold Medal Park in Minneapolis.

Note the clearly more predatory approach of Child #2. If she ever gets Zombified* we're in trouble.

Dissertations for Wife-a-roo and myself are both in progress. She's ahead of your humble narrator, but she started two years earlier and is only going to finish a couple of months before me. I intend to point this fact out to her on, pretty much, a daily basis for the rest of our lives.

In other news: Twitter is still stupid.

*This is apparently the correct spelling of the past tense of the verb "to Zombify." Don't doubt me. This is a quality blog; I looked it up.

The Air is Brisk and Here are some Things I Loathe

In which your humble narrator pontificates on incommodious impediments to a calm and happy life.

• Class shoppers, those detestable undergraduate adders* and droppers who prevent you from getting an accurate class list until the third week of the term.
• Terrible Twin Cities drivers that do not understand that on a multi-lane road being in the right lane is a necessary precondition for making a right turn. Turning right from the left lane? Generally inadvisable.
• The social acceptability of cheap perfume for adolescent boys and undergraduate males. If I can smell you coming from 15 yards away there's a problem. If you're sitting in the fourth row in my class and making my eyes water, there's a serious problem. 
• Shopping for new cell phones. 
• The never ending mosquito swarm. I'm ready for a quick freeze to destroy all the blood-sucking little bastards.

*Not the snake kind.