It's Thursday, so that must mean I hate things

In which your humble narrator tallies five hated things.

1. The "environmentally friendly" detergent at Costco that proudly proclaims its greeny-goodness but only mentions its "lavender fragrance" in extremely light, 8-point font. All of my clothes smell like old lady.
2. Living down-wind of a down-scale apartment complex from whence much trash blows into my yard. Did you know that Frito-Lay is still manufacturing Funyuns? I didn't until we moved to this house. I thought they had gone the way of the Dodo, betamax and fluffy chest hair.
3. The media omni-presence of Sarah Palin. Congratulations, conservatives. You've found a right-winger as annoying as Susan Sarandon. I suspect if they ever meet, the universe will collapse into an inky-black hole of self-righteous incoherence.
4. The invention of medical-themed daytime television. Please see "The Doctors" and "Dr. Oz." My prescription? Cancellation.
5. People who have blogs about "maintaining a simple life." 
• Step One: stop blogging. See? Simpler already.