Scrapbooking for Jesus with my seven children while losing weight by climbing rocks and making sweet love to my bicycle

In which your humble narrator surveys the interwebs and finds them wanting.

The fine folks at Google, in their zeal to index everything, changed the functionality of the "Next Blog" button featured on the navigation bar of most Blogger blogs. Rather than taking you to a completely random Blogger blog (possibly in another exciting language) it now takes you to a blog that Google thinks you will find interesting based on what you've written on your blog. What follows is an unscientific survey of the blogs available to me via the Next Blog button (all within 3 clicks).

• 15,000 "family" blogs focused on frequently photographed children named Camryn, Tamryn, Payton, Braden, Jayden, Caden, Aiden, Ain't Misbehavin', Desmond, Connor, Tanner, Planner, Delilah, Rylie, Kylie and Wingnut.
• 12,000 blogs with the word "ramblings" heavily featured in the title or description.
• 9,000 blogs where people talk about Jesus... a lot.
• 6,000 blogs about scrap-booking (many overlap with the above categories.)
• 4,000 blogs about losing weight.
• 2,000 blogs describing climbing up big rocks in exhaustive detail.
• 750 blogs about people and their unnatural relationships with their bicycles.
• 500 blogs with "embracing winter," somewhere in the first few posts, because really, seasons need hugs.
• 50 blogs about making life more simple by blogging about simplicity.
• 1 blog about an international organization of philatelists.*

I understand (even if I also reject) the preponderance of sallow-skinned, dead-eyed suburban family blogs showing up. I write about children. They write about children.  I, however, am at a loss regarding the climbing of big rocks, the techno-sexual bicycle relationships, simplicity, and philately blogs.


Actually the philatelist's blog was the only interesting one.

*I have spent at least an hour trying to imagine what their parties must be like. My only conclusion: off the hook.