Double Indumbnity

In which your humble narrator reminds you that the children are our future and as such we are hopelessly screwed.

I spent a few minutes this morning trying to track down a quote I'm pretty sure I read in a Joe Queenan book. I can't remember if it was Mr. Queenan or if he was quoting someone else. Without further nattering it was something along these lines:

If children are so smart, why isn't one of them in charge of the Federal Reserve?

While a spectacularly bright boy over all, Child #1 does manage some truly epic failures of smartness in his brain thing. On Tuesday night, Child #1 was looking a little queasy at dinner and not eating much. His mother got him some frozen yogurt (bad idea) and he ate a little. After dinner he decided he was going to help give Child #2 a bath and ran from the kitchen into the bathroom. Upon entering the bathroom, he began to vomit (while running toward his mother), slipped on his own puke, slid across the floor on his ass, leaving a trail of pink yogurty barf. Much wailing and distress ensued.


The next day he got pink eye, which he's handled with all the stoicism you would expect from a two-year-old, by trying to gouge his eyes out, intermittently wailing, and smearing yellow-green eye pus over all my modestly appointed home.

The baby pooped through two sets of clothes yesterday, and her nose is still running, leaving her with a ring of gray (frequently linty) boogers around her nostrils.

I'm leaving the little darlings in the care of our baby sitter today while I go to teach some undergraduates about curriculum analysis. Undergrads may be nearly as gross as children, but at least none of them will touch me.

For this, I am truly grateful.