Tuesday, August 25, 2009

New Beginnings

In which your humble narrator, after attending to his infant daughter's attempt to sabotage his blog activities, compares her to Bea Arthur and tries again.

Having been blessed with two children, I am now involved in raising them. Their mother works full-time as a sort of statistical wizard, leaving them in my care most of the time. Child #1 is male, almost two and verbal. Child #2 is female, almost four months old and non-verbal, though very noisy. She sounds like Bea Arthur. Well, like I imagine Bea Arthur sounded as a baby. She has a low, throaty voice that carries throughout our modest abode when she's peevish. Fortunately she is much more agreeable than Child #1 who screamed pretty much non-stop until he was four months old. She only employs her aural assault weaponry a couple of times per day.

Child #1 has turned into an interesting, if confounding little person. I have high hopes for both children that they'll grow to be excellent caregivers for me when I'm old and infirm. I figure that succesful propagation of one's genetic material and the ensuing investment of blood and treasure should ensure that I don't die alone in one of those nursing homes that's occasionally featured on "60  minutes." This  shall be referred to hereafter as "The Big Payoff."

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