Morality Play in One Act

In which your humble narrator relates the spirit of goodness in Child #1.

To begin, some background. Child #1 goes to the local liberal Jewish preschool. We picked this school for several reasons. First, it's only 2 miles away. Second, they offer generous financial assistance. And third, and most important, the preschool teachers at this school are ladies of a certain age who have been teaching preschool since your humble narrator was a wee tyke. Preschools should be run by sweet little old ladies. Child #1's teacher is named Joannie.

The Scene: our car on the way home after preschool. 

Child #1: I have to do a good deed.
Me: What?
Child #1: Joannie said I have to do a good deed. I have to.
Me: Okay. So what are you going to do?
Child #1: A good deed. Joannie said so.
Me: Yeah, but what kind of good deed?
Child #1: I will brush my teeth politely. (Yells) It's a mitzvah!

I'm so relieved that we won't have to endure the trauma of him being rude to the tooth paste. And I know the tooth brush couldn't handle it.