Wild Assertions Unsuported by Evidence

In which your humble narrator makes unsubstantiated claims.

Having always quietly envied the undeserved confidence of idiots, I have decided to forgo my usual personal standards of argument and make several wild claims. They are, in no particular order:

• Secretary of the treasury, Timothy Geithner is clearly an elfin prince, impersonating a human being in order to spread faerie mischief throughout the financial sector.

• Orange is the most dangerous color.
• "Molecules" are just a big joke perpetrated by scientists on an unsuspecting public.
• Saskatchewan has a purpose, and once we know what it is, there will be a new golden age of television.
• You know Rhode Island? Well the locals don't call it that. They refer to their state as "Uncle Phil."
• Animals whose plural names aren't different than the singular form (like "moose") are the accountants of the animal kingdom.
• "France" doesn't exist. It's a cleverly wrought fantasy country designed to collect the excess sneers of conservative politicians in the United States and United Kingdom.