Minnesota State Fair Redux

In which your humble narrator reflects on the panoply of weirdness at the Great Minnesota Get Together.

Today, Wife and Sister and I returned to the Minnesota State Fair sans children which provided the twin opportunities to both look at things that were not necessarily bright and shiny and to drink beer. The following are a set of lessons learned from this year's fair.

1. Fried cheese curd quality varies within and between purveyors. I should say that when I moved to the frozen tundra in 1997 I thought the very idea of deep-fried cheese was repellent. I was wrong, and you were right, Minnesota, and I'm sorry.

2. The strollers are out of control. I say this even as someone who owns three strollers. One regular stroller that you can also pop the carseat into if desired, one giant double stroller that's only used for walking trips from the house to our neighborhood shopping district, and one ratty old umbrella stroller that Wife bought at a yard sale that's been hanging in the garage unused for many moons. At the Fair, people have giant strollers with 12-18 wheels, seating for 8, shock absorbers (!), storage compartments and windscreens. These tend to be piloted be the same people that drive Lincoln Navigators in a hazardous fashion. I saw two evil Mommies push strollers full of their vile progeny into hapless senior citizens today. Something must be done.

3. The Art at the art show was way more nature-oriented this year. Lots of dull landscape paintings. I assume it has something to do with the economy and President Obama's Punitive "Interesting Art Tax" which has forced all of our best Minnesota artists to flee to the Cayman Islands.

4. Many of the people at the Minnesota Public Radio Pavilion are obviously not public radio listeners. I think they should limit access to the benches to public radio members. Let the great unwashed eat their french fries while standing. If they want to sit down, they can buy a tote bag.

5. I like ducks, but only normal ones. Those freak-ducks with the weird plumage that think they're better than me can go to hell.

6. Manning the "Marty Seifert for Governor" booth appears to be a boring, lonely job.

7. The giant butter heads all look sort of the same this year. I had a Princess Kay of the Milky Way in my class last year. She brought her scrapbook in so I could see her year as a dairy princess. It was very cool. I know the whole "Dairy Princess" thing seems very weird, but you shouldn't be so judgmental.

8. The grass at the fairgrounds does not survive the first 7 days of the Fair.

9. People in Minnesota seem pretty mean and stand-offish until you force them to make eye-contact. Then they're really pretty decent.

10. Pronto Pups are delicious. I still don't understand how they're different than corn dogs.